Just Breathe
by imSiriuslyLupin4you
Summary: Remus has a panic attack during a Potions test. 'M' for cussing. No pairings.


**(Remus has a nervous break down during a potions class. I feel as if I have to write this, because I myself just had one during chemistry test. In case you're interested, I failed the test. Take pity on me and read the fic. No pairings.)**

'_If exactly one ounce of powdered dragon fang is diluted by ten grams how would it effect a body cleansing potion, rather then if it was only diluted by four grams?'_

…What? How would… did we go over this in class? Did I write this down? I studied for hours last night, and didn't read anything about this. Shit. Shit, I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail potions. I'm going to fail potions, and I wont be able to graduate and… Oh God.

I can't breathe.

OhmygodohmygodohmygodIcan'tbreathe…

I need to put my head down.

Fuck, am I crying…? I hope no one sees… Please, no one see me crying. I can't cry, someone will see.

Breathe. Breathe. Hold in the tears. Just wait till after class and no one will be able to see the tears. Just wait and you'll be able to cry later. Just don't let anyone see. Don't let anyone see… Can't let anyone see me…

I'm breathing to loud… Breathe quieter… act normal…

Fuck, I am so screwed. Fuckfuckfuck. Shit I am going to fail. I'm going to fail, I'm going to fail, I'm going to fail… fuck.

"Moony are you alright?"

Nod. Just nod. Don't let James know. Don't let him see. Tell him I'm fine. Wait till he turns away. Wait till he's looking down at his own test.

So much time passes. Can't look up at the test. Can't face it…

"Time's up! Please hand your tests in to the front of the room!" Slughorn's voice snapped my mind back to the present.

…The present.

…Time…

…Times up.

Oh my fucking God, times up.

And I'm hardly even halfway done.

Oh my God, times fucking over and I'm not finished with the test.

Fuck me God.

Please, please, please, please just fucking kill me now God.

Oh shit.

I'm having a heart attack.

Bloody shit, I'm having a fucking heart attack.

Stand up, get my things, leave the room.

Oh. Dizzy.

Standing up was a bad idea.

… I need to lie down…

The floor is so, so cold. And so dirty.

I'm going to flunk out of Hogwarts, I'm having a heart attack, and now I'm cold and dirty.

And dusty.

And now it's in my nose.

I'm choking on dust.

I can't breathe.

Oh my fucking God I can't breathe!

"Remus! REMUS!"

Whose voice is that? I can't open my eyes and see for myself. If I open my eyes I'll stop breathing. I don't want to die…

"Oh my God, Evans, what happened?"

"I don't know! He just fell on the ground and curled up in a ball."

"Shit! I think he's having a panic attack!"

"I'll stay here while you get Slughorn. Hurry!"

"_You _get him Evans. Moony! Remus! Breathe! Just breathe…"

I can't! I can't! Why can't they see that breathing is too hard?

"Rem, listen to me… you need to breathe." A small cold hand is on my forehead. It feel's nice.

"Lily, I can't breathe." I gasp. "I can't breathe, I can't breath I can't-"

"Shhh…" the hand is stroking my hair. "Take deep breaths. Slughorn will be here with a calming drought soon, and- Black, I thought I told you to get Slughorn!"

"I don't want to leave. I'm worried."

"Bl-Sirius, Remus won't get better unless you get a calming drought from Slughorn."

I hear footsteps leaving. The hand is on my back now.

"Remus, breathe. Like this. In… out… in… out…"

I copy her. My the ache in my chest stops so I open my eyes. The light hurts my eyes. It feels good.

Lily is kneeling next to me. James and Peter are behind her. Why do they all look so worried?

"Ms. Evans, move aside." A shadow falls over me. Slughorn is here. He presses something cold and sweet to my lips. I drink. The potion reminds me of my mother. I can breathe again without Lily's hand. "Calming Drought, with just a hint of thyme." Slughorn announces. "Good to have with you in case you are prone to panic attacks…" His voice trails off.

The hand is back, and this time it's pair is there too. Lily helps me to my feet. I sway and Sirius is waiting on my other side and catches me.

"James, run ahead and tell Promfrey what happened. Pete, you get McGonagall." Sirius says. They run ahead, and Lily and Sirius stay by my side as I make my way to the Hospital Wing.

**(Well, this was short. But nice I think. REVIEW!)**


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